Looking spiffy in his penguin suit, and revelling in the joys of wearing a suit that actually fits, host Simon Barnett tell us this is the “Nu Zilind” final of Stars in Their Eyes.
So who will win the first grand final? Will the winner be the only Fa'afafine finalist - thought to be a world first - Elvis the Pelvis or one of the many finalists wearing fake tan, dodgy wigs and in many cases not much else?
Modesty appears to be the word du jour, with most of the finalists claiming they were "surprised" to win their heats. Cher impersonator Emmeline Pitcher was more candid suggesting her performance and ability to entertain the crowd won her a spot in the final. Given she won her heat by only one vote, it's somewhat ironic that she appears the most confident of the finalists.
Caroline Lekstrom as Shakira singing Whenever, Wherever
Swedish nanny Caroline Lekstrom is a pro when it comes to Stars in Their Eyes competitions having made it to the final of the Swedish version of the show. She was so keen to do a good job that she got busy working out at the gym – possibly working off her frustrations after Simon suggested her boyfriend should propose. Still waiting for a diamond sparkler for her finger, petite Caroline gave a confident performance as Shakira, with lots of similarities in her voice.
Lili Latham as Debbie Harry singing One Way or Another
18 year old llama impersonator Lili Latham is the youngest finalist. In the heats she was extremely entertaining. This time the voice was still fairly authentic but she seems to have replaced Blondie’s trademark spastic moves with overemphasised eye movements that were frightening Miss Prozac’s cat. She was also drowned out at times by the backing band and seemed nervous. Disappointing. This wasn't as good as her performance in her heat, but the voice was a great imitation, so will the audience give her credit for that?
Si naturally thought it was “brillyint”.
Brendon Chase as Elvis Presley singing Suspicious Minds
Elvis the Pelvis, replete with fake Fanta coloured tan and woolly sideburns was having an off night. The voice is similar but who can listen with all the gyrating? He should have been singing breathless, because it sounded like he was running a marathon as he gasped his way through all the raunchy pelvis thrusting and did the whole I’m-lassoing-a-calf with his arms thing. When did Elvis ever do those moves? Miss Prozac’s cat is still hiding under the sofa.
Si thought he did very, very well. Absolutely “brillyint” stuff, he says.
Deryn Trainer as Billy Joel singing Piano Man
Deryn Trainer certainly looks the part. Even before transforming into Billy Joel the likeness is inescapable. A brilliant piano player, Deryn looks more relaxed this episode, although the voice tone is not the same as “The Piano Man”.
Da de da, diddy da. Miss Prozac is bored with the song choice, and distracts herself watching the orange glow of fake tan as the lights hit his forehead. Everything is in tune but close your eyes, and you know it’s definitely not the real deal, despite a strong performance with Deryn putting everything into it. For performance quality Deryn was the winner on the night. Great melodies, good look, good performance, but not the right voice tone. Matthew Kelly who fronted the UK version for several years, says the show is about having the right voice.
Si says he is a master.
Ellen Kuiper as Anastacia singing I’m Outta Love
A superstar in her Dutch homeland with eight top 10 hits, Ellen is an Annie Lennox impersonator and a popular singer here in New Zealand. Miss Prozac loves the voice which is very similar to Anastacia, but she’s not loving Candy Lane’s prancing ponies as they waddle down the steps and do some half-hearted shimmying. And what was that guy in trackies doing posing beside her?
Ellen’s professionalism shows, as she gives a confident performance. Si labels her a pocket rocket which Ellen seems to like.
Emmeline Pitcher as Cher singing Turn Back Time
Forget turning back time, Miss Prozac would like to fast forward past this segment as Emmeline struts on stage in thigh high patent leather boots and a lacy body suit. Dressing up in feathers for her living as a singing telegram deliverer, this is probably tame by Emmeline’s standards, but Miss Prozac was swigging several glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon. The only plus is that it distracted from Candy Lane’s performing ponies in their sailor’s uniforms.
Imagination TV have clearly sharpened the sound mixing because most of the contestants sound much better in the final than in their heats. Cher was much improved tonight and the voice tone sounded similar, but she’s not in the same class as Cher with some pitch problems in her singing.
Cindy Filo as Tina Turner singing Proud Mary
Okay, what gives? Everyone is calling her Cindy Todd, but the TVNZ website has our mincing karaoke queen listed as Cindy Filo. Relax, Miss Prozac has solved the mystery. Cindy of Samoa's boyfriend is Kerry Todd, and it seems she has taken to using his name.
Despite, possibly having the best legs in the contest, and a good likeness to Tina, this didn’t work.
Fa'afafine Cindy held her arms out to the side like a body builder and the facial expressions were completely wrong, as was the voice, and the pitch. Too much falsetto, too much shouting, too many strange facial expressions. If she was lampooning Tina Turner then she gets 10/10. Next, please.
Paul Madsen as George Michael singing Faith
Opening with some jerky bum wiggling, Paul Madsen soon finds his stride and looks relaxed despite a possum sleeping on his head. It was good, but it wasn’t great. The performance qualities were good, but the voice is not similar enough to George Michael to take out the title.
Tony Wellington as Roy Orbison singing Pretty Woman
He lacks the girth of the original, but who can see with the gals circling him? The sound is pretty authentic and Miss Prozac is loving him. She wonders if the original Big O wore Ray Bans? Nice guy, good performance. Miss Prozac admits to a secret crush on the forklift driver from Tauranga.
Unfortunately the Big O is an understated performer and to win a show like this with a live audience voting, you need to be jumping around the stage or pounding a keyboard or doing something that is visually entertaining.
Results
Billy Joel is crowned the first Stars in Their Eyes winner.
Deryn said it feels surreal to win and thanks the audience for voting for him, and his mum and dad, and... The Oscar acceptance speech continues as Billy Joel coolly claims his prize.
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Photos: TVNZ
Tonight in the final heat of the first series of 
Tonight is the final heat in the current series of 
Gary Brown, who is an 
Has anyone else noticed that the contestants in the skimpiest outfits and tightest pants seem to win on 
The Day goes on to add
You have to give the guy credit for doing the bum wiggle and getting into the number with uber-enthusiasm. Surely, there’s got to be an opening for him with the Candy Lane Dancers who once again looked like they were going through the motions?