Paul Holmes Intrepid Journey to Yemen

On tonight's Intrepid Journeys to Yemen: trouble at the border; trying to export a goat called Nigel back to New Zealand; and a mad drive through Al Qaeda country were just some of the moments in a trip that Paul Holmes describes as a revelation.

Paul's mum, bless her, was very worried about the trip. "She sent me an email saying, 'My God you're going to be killed, be careful, be so careful!' But the amazing thing is I cannot recall ever going to a friendlier country than this. Even people who are taken hostage, and a lot of people are taken hostage here, report that they're treated beautifully by the people who have taken them hostage. So they're welcoming even when they're holding you prisoner. Fantastic."

This Middle East adventure also had a serious brush with the law. The crew's equipment was confiscated on arrival (a first for the Intrepid Journeys production team). "I'm thinking what a great start, I've been here half an hour and the camera has been confiscated. Welcome to Yemen."

Intrepid Journeys airs Tuesday 9.30pm on TV One.



Photos: TVNZ

Millie Holmes' Latest Addiction

Who needs P when you can bask in the glow of flashbulbs and indulge in the latest craze – the celebrity as wounded animal in recovery, sincerely apologetic and determined to mend their ways?

Apparently, Millie is sorry for hurting her family with her druggie ways, but not so sorry that she'd let it get in the way of earning a bit of dough with her "exclusive" stories of drug taking, lying, stealing and living with a sugar daddy. Nah, that won't hurt your family, petal.

Millie Holmes/Elder has traded drugs for the warm glow of the media spotlight. It seems the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree as Millie hopes to follow mother Hinemoa Elder and/or dad Paul Holmes into media. She’s off to a roaring start…

In years gone by there was the occasional father/daughter magazine cover, but now it seems a week does not go by without another “exclusive” interview from Millie and her latest addiction to the celebrity craze of spilling her beans on national television, newspapers and magazines. Funny given that she told Mark Sainsbury in their exclusive first television interview that she was unhappy with Paul Holmes for giving a statement outside the High Court. Remember the famous ‘Millie is sick’ statement? That didn’t go down at all well with Millie who said they had agreed to say nothing to the media

We are devastated by this, of course. If Millie has broken the law, she must pay the consequences. We love Millie very much and our whole family - the whole family - is working together to offer her our support.

Sunday Star Times reckons papa Paul Holmes is less than chuffed with Millie’s latest obsession, and her stories about her man James Mail and rehab mate Keita Nobilo in the papers. This from the man that received mucho dosh to have his “exclusive” wedding photos to wife Deborah splashed in the Australian Woman’s Weekly and has kept us regularly updated with every instalment of his life, from near death flying experiences, to prostate cancer, an affair with a woman who passed her knickers to him at a party, first wife Hine and current wife Deborah.


Surprisingly, the newspapers and magazines have little to say about Hine who has ducked out of the spotlight these days but does anyone else think it’s odd that mother Hine is a psychiatrist specialising in Maori youth addiction issues? Little is said about mother Hine in any of Millie’s interviews, although she is apparently very supportive and drives Millie to her ongoing daily outpatient treatment at Capri Trust. Seems like the least she could do...

According to Millie, stepmother Deborah is “the enforcer” in the family and is the one to step in and take an active role in setting boundaries, while papa Paul tends to be the permissive parent, or as Millie and Paul put it in one interview... he’s a pushover.

It was Deborah that confronted Millie about her behaviour when she was living at home with her and papa Paul, but Millie wasn’t having a bar of it. At that stage Millie had lost a lot of weight and was behaving erratically. Deborah told Millie she was being distant and acting strange and asked her what was going on, telling her “If you need help, just ask us.” Typical teen Millie said

“Stuff this. I’m leaving.”

So she packed her bags and took off, returning only to steal ipods, gameboys and anything else she could sell. She refused to tell Paul and Deborah where she was living, leaving Paul devastated when Millie had a car accident.

Last year a friend crashed her car; she was a passenger and high on drugs.

“I left it on the side of the road with every window smashed, undriveable. The police rang my dad: ‘Oh we think your daughter might be dead, we found her car’. Dad went mental, and couldn’t find me for two weeks.”

In the latest Woman’s Day interview, Millie says she was living with a ‘sugar daddy’. This is an upgrade from earlier stories where she told reporters that a 'close friend' provided her with free drugs.

According to Millie she never traded sex for drugs (is there a Tui billboard in that somewhere?) and instead put her name on a lease and allowed a drug dealer to be bailed to her home. In return for this wee favour he apparently provided her with the P that fuelled her $1,000 a day habit and some cash - presumably when she’d cleaned out papa Holmes’ house and there was nothing left that she could hock.

Millie said she was treated like a criminal (go figure), and was strip searched and fingerprinted before spending the night in a cell.

“You have to take off all your clothes slowly one at a time, like you’re fully exposed, it’s horrible. Then we had to squat on the floor and touch your toes with your legs apart. It’s horrible. It’s so demeaning. They don’t touch you but it’s horrid.”

“You had no privacy going to the toilet, and stuff like that.”

She said she took P because it made her feel more productive and she felt good when she took it, but she now knows she has to abstain from all drugs and alcohol as she believes she has a “brain disease” and is incapable of controlling herself and being a social drinker or druggie.

"I still think about P a lot, but I know if I pick it up, that will be it."

Millie continues to have regular drug tests to ensure she is “clean”. The results will be presented to the court at the time of her sentencing.

As to lover James Mail, that seems to be a moving target. On 28 October 2007 she told Herald on Sunday that the pair had been going out about a month. In this week’s Woman’s Day they’d known each other two months before moving in together. Apparently time is a fluid concept in Millie-land. They “like” each other very much but aren’t ready to say the “love” each other. Say what? Do you just go live with any man, Millie? It’s surprising more of her exes haven’t come out of the woodwork. So far rugby player Tino Patelesio is the only one to do a tell-all story, but the other ex friends and lovers can’t be far away from spilling the beans.

Millie says she regrets the pain she has caused her family and is on the road to recovery saying,

“I think I’ve learned a lot, grown a lot and I’m so much the wiser now.”

Yeah, right.


Sources: NZ Herald 21/10/2007, NZ Herald 28/10/2007, Woman's Day 02/07/2007, Woman's Day 12/11/2007, TV One Close Up 22/10/2007, Sunday Star Times 04/11/2007

NZ's Best & Worst Dressed Celebs

David Hartnell's Best & Worst Dressed List 2007 has been published in this week's NZ Woman's Weekly and as usual Miss Prozac wonders how he chooses the best dressed. Does he throw a dart at a board and pick the names out of a hat? The "supreme winners" are elegant dressers, and a decent bit of eye candy but some of the other contenders for Best Dressed are boring and umimaginative in their choice of clothes.

Best Dressed Woman:
Former Miss Universe and Dancing with the Stars champion Lorraine Downes

Best Dressed Man:
Hunky newsreader Eric Young

Also on the Best Dressed List

• Singer Hollie Smith who could only be well dressed if she covered those hideous tatts
• Pebbles Hooper, who dresses like some preppy school girl. Oh hang on a minute. She is a school girl.
• Singer Brooke Fraser who is so beautiful she could make a sack look attractive - which is handy because some of the clothes she wears bear a stunning resemblance to paper sacks
• Breakfast/Sunrise hosts Pippa Wetzell & Carly Flynn
• The recently engaged MTV Presenter and Model Amber Peebles also makes the list of stylish dressers and deservedly so but the pink leopard print dress in the accompanying photo has to be the ugliest thing Miss Prozac has ever seen her wear. It makes her look dumpy and frumpy.
• TV One's cute weather presenter Tamati Coffey
• Boring Bob Parker
• Lorraine Downe's partner Martin Crowe
• Shelton Woolright. Sigh. If lime green sneakers and a hoodie qualify one for the best dressed list then it's time for David Hartnell to hand over his crown to someone with 20/20 vision
• Shortland St actor Ben Mitchell who would like good in anything, and even better sans clothes
• Trendy Dancing with The Stars pro dancer and teacher Jonny Williams

Fashion Boo Boo award
Topping the worst dressed list is TV presenter Paul Holmes

Also making the worst dressed list:

• Publicity Hound Nicky Watson
• Journo Ingrid Leary
• TV personality Louise Wallace
• Lynda Topp (Camp Mother). Boo hiss. Miss Prozac likes Camp Mother and thinks her tacky clothing great comedy
• Labour MP Ruth Dyson
• Radio DJ Pauline 'Polly' Gillespie
• Weather presenter Jim Hickey
• Reality TV contestant John Horse McLeod
• Muso and Pop's Ultimate Star judge Peter Urlich
• TV presenter Mark Sainsbury
• Comedian Te Radar
• Radio and TV presenter Marcus Lush

Photos: TVNZ, infonews.co.nz

Whatever happened to... $1.2 million?

Darn good question. We posted yesterday about Paul Holmes with his snout firmly back in the TVNZ trough snuffling down $1.2 million of taxpayers' dough in the new show Whatever Happened To...?

Thankfully Miss Prozac had the good sense to watch Sensing Murder, axe murderers and garrottes being more her speed than smug little men with big egos. According to blogger Lita the real questions are:

• Whatever happened to … that last hour of my life?
• Whatever happened to … TVNZ’s self respect?
• Who told Paul Holmes the lame glove joke and referencing himself as ”your humble host” was subtle but funny?
• Whatever happened to … creativity and originality from our main broadcaster?

We still wonder how such a "cheap" show could cost $1.2 million. What exactly is Paul Holmes' current salary? He's already got $1.2 million worth of free publicity in all the papers and magazines. Surely he should be doing the show for free?

It just goes to show... If you want to relaunch a dying career, get your dancing shoes, sparkly glove and lycra out and the world is your oyster. No wonder Suzanne Paul begged for three years in a row to get the chance to tango on Dancing with the Stars.

Paul Holmes and Millie Elder in the News

It must be a slow news week. Make that a slow news month. It seems you can't open a paper or magazine without reading about the latest about Paul Holmes or his daughter . We dare not describe Millie as his adopted daughter after Paul The Gnome Holmes whinged about media qualifying every reference to Millie as his adopted daughter.

Paul Holmes snout in the trough to the tune of $1.2 million
Holmes will soon be back on our screens tomorrow night hosting Whatever Happened To...? In a move that defies explanation TVNZ has squandered more than $1.2 million of Charter money on this light entertainment comedy reminiscing over stars of bygone days. Puhleeze!

A very self-satisfied Paul Holmes has been in all the papers talking about the wonderful TVNZ family and his delight at returning to primetime television in a new role.

Blame the drug dealers
In the latest TV Guide Paul Holmes has been threatening to bulldoze all P dealers. This seems to ignore the fact that taking drugs is a choice. Just say no! After all Miss Prozac toddles into the supermarket and has a wee taste of the latest feta dips and a wee snifter or six of wine when it is on offer at New World. Does this mean we should be bulldozing Villa Maria for so kindly offering a weary shopper a wee pick-me-up? It's all about supply and demand, and while people are prepared to pay through the nose for drugs, there will always be a willing supplier.

Millie NZ's answer to Paris Hilton?
A tacky story from gossip Sunday Star Times columnist Bridget Saunders likens to Paris Hilton.

We have been waiting for a local Paris Hilton and now she’s arrived in our lives. Millie behaves atrociously, has access to pots of money and looks cute in pap snaps. That’s all it takes folks! As long as Millie doesn’t put on weight (that’s the only real crime in Celebrityville) she has the makings of a much needed local icon.

Crikey Bridge, give the girl a chance. She's young and she's had a couple of slip ups. Don't think she's quite ready to be tarnished with the Paris brush.

Millie's ex boyfriend
Last week's Woman's Day trotted out some rugby chap by the name of Tino Patelesio who dated Millie for five months two years ago. Apparently she was sweet and friendly and good until she hooked up with the wrong crowd. After that her behaviour became bizarre and unpredictable.

He allegedly broke up with her after she locked herself away in a hotel bathroom to smoke with two girlfriends. Being a manly man, rugby chap Tino kicked the door down and broke up with Millie. Nice one Tino. All the babes love that sort of thing.

Millie should never have been born?
According to astrologer Don Murray, the responsibility for Millie Holmes/Elder's drug problems lie squarely at the feet of her parents. Mother Hinemoa Elder for giving birth to Millie:

In astrological terms,Millie Holmes should never have been born.

For her arrival in May 1988 concurred with one of the lowest points in the life of her mother,Hinemoa Elder.

With Uranus and Saturn attacking her Jupiter in that month and nebulous Neptune doing same to her Sun,22-year-old Hinemoa was majorly depressed,much of it to do with a short-term relationship involving Millie's father.

He goes on to say:

With a Capricorn Moon, Hinemoa would have a natural shyness and a preference for a career and material success rather than motherhood.

Not sure how the natural shyness squares with Hinemoa's career as a television presenter, but it does seem rather ironic that a psychiatrist specialising in adolescent drug and alcohol addiction should fail to notice her own daughter's problems and take appropriate action to intervene before things got so out of hand.

Paul Holmes a bad father and junkie?
Paul Holmes is apparently guilty of absent fathering. More provocative opinions from Don Murray:

Paul chose to leave for work at 4-5 a.m for the radio and return home from his TV gig at 8-9 p.m.Paul chose to get his pilot's licence and own an aeroplane.Paul chose to work super hard and save for a farm in Hawkes Bay.And see so little of his two kids.

Not sure we agree with this oversimplistic account but we do wonder, where was The Gnome when his daughter was getting high and strung out on P?

Don suggests that part of the problem lies in the example papa Holmes has been providing to Millie, to wit suggestions that Paul Holmes may be a druggie after receiving mysterious packages delivered by a large white car with tinted windows. Miss Prozac has only ever seen The Gnome smoking cancer sticks so she doesn't know how much truth there is in this suggestion.

If you're thinking his name is familiar, Don Murray is the gent that forecast a win for New Zealand in the 2007 America's Cup, later explaining the failure of the team to lift the cup as being a misinterpretation of the charts, and surely winning the challengers' series was a success? He also predicted that the All Blacks won't win the 2007 World Cup. Updated... and he was right!

Photos: TVNZ

Whatever Happened to ... Paul Holmes?

It seems that Paul Holmes refuses to roll over and play dead. He's one of those presenters that tends to polarise people, but love him or hate him, he keeps popping up.

Now it seems his friendship with Julie Christie of Eyeworks Touchdown is paying dividends, with Paul Holmes set to front a new show on TV One.

You may have seen or heard the advertisements for Were You There? which sought to find people who have met the big entertainment stars of the 70s and 80s. Were You There? was the show's earlier working title, which has now been reinvented as Whatever Happened To...? The entertainment show updates viewers on the newsmakers, the superstars and survivors, the celebrities and the accidentally famous. The premise of the show is simple. What happened to the people who were once household names?

Using a blend of archival footage and studio interviews (can anyone spell low budget?), the show will be a mix of interviews and stories about entertainers and their fans; news events that stopped the country; international events that shaped the world; the TV stars and shows that obsessed Kiwis; sporting moments; and some surprise reunions. Ye Gods. It sounds like a cross between This is Your Life and the New Year's look back on archival footage.

A new format for Holmes, he explains he is feeling his way through it. "It's an entertainment show so it's not what I am used to. I've never been able to be this free on television before. It will be just the thing for a cold Tuesday night." And in true Holmes fashion he says the audience will think he is hilarious: "I tell them they have to - shameless still."

Although the show focuses on local events and personalities, Whatever Happened To…? will also look at international events and stars.

The show starts Tuesday 11th September, 8:30pm on TV One.


Photos: TVNZ

Facelift for Paul Holmes

No Kiwi celebrity, sportsperson or politician is safe from the topical weekly show ‘Facelift’. The satirical sketch show takes the famous faces and creates 2D caricatures that are given a third dimension via sculpting as foam prosthetics and then are finally brought to life by a talented bunch of comic impersonators.


We love this impersonation of Paul Holmes from Dancing with the Stars, after his infamous Paso Doble Thriller.


Paul will be on television soon in a different role on Julie Christie's Food Channel talking about his Olive Oil, aptly named Paul Holmes Olive Oil, produced from his Hawkes Bay home, Mana Lodge...

Facelift is on tonight at 10.05pm on TV ONE.


Photos: TVNZ, Mana Lodge

Millie Holmes released on bail

Millie Holmes (aka Millie Elder), on charges for possession of drugs and receiving stolen goods has been released on bail. Methamphetamines are Class A drugs. The maximum penalty for possession is six months imprisonment and/or a $1000 fine.

An emotional Paul Holmes gave a prepared speech to the media saying that her family loved her very much and that they were all supporting her at this difficult time.

He went on to say that Millie is a sick girl but she has a good heart. We noticed that she appeared very skinny on the video footage, which can be an indication of long-term 'P' use.

Paul Holmes stated that the family was devastated by this turn of events, and any family that has teenage children would understand how he felt. He also said that if Millie had broken the law then she must accept the consequences of her actions. Paul Holmes went up considerably in my estimation. Full points for his honesty and for speaking from the heart, and for not trying to dodge the seriousness of the charges.

TV3 have stated that Millie left the game show Deal or No Deal under a cloud after an employment dispute.

Click here for the latest Millie Holmes/Elder news

View TV3 footage

Millie will be back in court next month. She has reverted to using her mother's maiden name and will be charged as Millie Elder.

Related Stories:
Deal or No Deal Fails to Excite
Cleavage no Big Deal
Inside the Filming of Deal or No Deal
Play the Deal or No Deal Game at Home
Cleavage Controversy on Deal or No Deal


Images: TV3

Deal or No Deal Model on Drugs Charge

Millie Holmes, the adopted daughter of broadcaster and Dancing with the Stars contender, Paul Holmes, has been arrested on drugs charges for possession and supply of P (methamphetamine). According to TV3, she is being held in a jail cell overnight awaiting her first appearance in the Auckland District Court.

19 year old Millie was the Deal or No Deal model behind briefcase number 4, but left the show after complaints of erratic, unreliable and diva-like behaviour. She is the daughter of Hine Elder who was one of the hosts of children's show, 3.45 Live and a model, before retraining as a doctor.

We asked TV3 for comment last Friday about Millie Holmes' role on Deal or No Deal, and asked them to confirm that she left the show due to conflict. We had no response to our questions.

This isn't the first time that Millie Holmes has been in the news. At the age of 15 she was rumoured to be engaged to a gent known as "Dawg", and there have been past rumours of drug use.

We will update this story as it unfolds. If Millie is a regular P user, we hope that she will seek treatment. According to Fight against 'P' methamphetamine is also known as P, meth, crank, glass, speed, crystal, ice, batu, chalk, shabu. It is one of the most addictive drugs, and users quickly spiral into despair and degradation.

Watch the TV3 video on the story.

Related Stories:
Deal or No Deal Fails to Excite
Cleavage no Big Deal
Inside the Filming of Deal or No Deal
Play the Deal or No Deal Game at Home
Cleavage Controversy on Deal or No Deal
Cheesy game show fails to fire

Images: TV3

Paul Holmes branches out into Oil

Broadcaster & Dancing with the Stars contestant Paul Holmes adds olive oil maker to his colourful CV. Holmes has just released his own range of olive oils, pressed from fruit grown on his Hawke's Bay property Mana Lodge.

The olives were planted in 2000. Following last year's first harvest, they are finally ready to present Paul Holmes Mana Lodge Extra Virgin Olive Oil pressed by Hawke's Bay olive oil experts The Village Press.

According to Holmes, "The olive oil is high quality, up there with the best of the best. In blind testing in Hawke's Bay last year Mana Lodge oil earned gold and silver," he says.

"The two varieties I have produced are very different. Leccino is rich and golden, with a rounded taste. Frantoio is green, crisp and peppery.

The first pressing of Paul Holmes olive oil from Mana Lodge's 3,700 trees has produced 2,862 500ml bottles. Only 1,710 are being retained in New Zealand for local oil aficionados with the remainder snapped up by international distributors.

Holmes plans not to rest his laurels on extra virgin olive oil however. He intends extending the Mana Lodge brand into a range of gourmet foods.

Related Stories:
Holmes confirms horizontal tango
Best and Worst of Dancing with The Stars NZ
Paul Holmes' Thriller

Best and Worst of Dancing with The Stars NZ

Drum roll please. Here are our awards for this season’s Dancing With The Stars best and worst moments

Sizzle award
New Zealand’s sexiest woman, Hayley Holt, for that Rhumba.

Best judge’s quote
Craig Revel-Horwood: It’s enough to turn a gay man straight
(about Hayley Holt wrapping herself around Brendon Pongia during their Rhumba)

Cheek(s) award
Michael Laws for looking unaccountably hot wiggling his butt during the Jive

Best mascara award

• Runner up: Frank it’s not macho to wear makeup Bunce
• Winner: Michael Laws. What were the make-up gals thinking?

Best Tango
Brendan Cole and Craig Revel-Horwood sniping at each other throughout the competition

The Rodney Hide memorial ‘you call that dancing’ award

• Runner up: Paul Holmes’ Thriller Paso Doble
• Winner: Suzanne Paul’s freestyle dance. Since when does spending half the dance being twirled by your partner followed by manic running around the floor qualify as dancing?

To quote Michael Laws

Stefano Olivieri carried Suzanne for most of her final dance. If I had known you could score `10s' for looking decorous rather than dancing, I would have piggy-backed my partner Lauren for the entire 90 seconds. It may have launched a thousand fetish fantasies but, gee, it might have worked.

Best costume award
This was a toughy. So many gorgeous costumes but in the end the Paso Doble won it.

• 3rd place: Krystal Stuart’s gorgeous Paso Doble dress
• 2nd place: Greer Robson and Aaron Gilmore punk rock Paso Doble
• 1st place: Suzanne Paul and Stefano Olivieri for their PVC Paso Doble

April & Csaba

Tackiest costume

• Runner up: Megan Alatini’s fruity bikini in the Samba
• Winner: April Ieremia’s “naff” High School musical costume

Best necklace
Where to begin? Joint first equal Carol-Ann Hickmore and Krystal Stuart

Taking one for the team award

• Special Merit award: Rebecca Nicholson for dancing with both Tim Shadbolt and Paul Holmes
• Runner up: Michael Laws for dancing with a broken toe. Well he moaned about that a bit, so really the award is for being savvy enough to auction off the funny metal thing he stubbed his toe on and earn an extra $800 for his charity.
• Winner: Krystal Stuart for dancing the Paso Doble with a broken toe and never uttering a word about the injury. Also ongoing bravery for dancing with Rodney Hide and taking the blame for the famous spear tackle fall.

Courage under fire:
Michael Laws for consistently smiling while being systematically taken apart by judge Craig Revel-Horwood

Charity we heard the most about:
The Suzanne Paul help me resurrect my career charity


The ego has landed award:

• Runner up: Paul Holmes for thinking his Paso Doble was good
• Winner: Megan Alatini for failure to accept constructive criticism from the judges without backchat

Most improved award
Jonny Williams – yes I know this is about the celebs but that boy can move and compared to last year he has improved in leaps and bounds.

Best dancer
Stefano Olivieri. How could you fail to win with that set of legs swivelling beside you? Expert, elegant and expressive Stefano Olivieri is one of the best dancers I have had the pleasure of watching. And who couldn’t love that gorgeous big smile?

WTF moment

• Special Merit Award: Megan Alatini for telling the woman’s magazine how she has a ‘secret’ crush on dance partner the week after sharing her passionate bedroom secrets with another woman’s magazine the previous week
• Runner up: Megan Alatini for telling partner Jonny Williams she couldn’t afford to pay him for ongoing dancing lessons. Say what? Didn’t she just get paid to do DWTS? Isn’t her husband on a lucrative playing contract in Japan? She’s not exactly destitute.
• Winner: Suzanne Paul for telling Brendan Cole to “get over himself” and “go have a word for himself” because he dared to do his job and judge her.

Best pins

• Runner up: Suzanne Paul
• Winner: Candy Lane

These women are both similar ages, and wowser, would you take a look at those legs!

Best clanger
Candy Lane for continually muffing her scripted comedy. But we have to give credit (a) to Candy Lane for improving from season 1 and (b) to the script writers for reducing all that scripted nonsense

Smut award
Can only go to the ditzy Alison Leonard who has never heard a word she can’t imbue with some sexual meaning including telling Brendon Pongia women used to dial him for a good time, now they can dial him for good timing

The Forever Friends award for flirtation

• Brendon Pongia and Hayley Holt
• Greer Robson and Aaron Gilmore
• Frank Bunce and Krystal Stuart
• Megan Alatini and Jonny Williams

Dirty Dancing award
Brendan Cole and … anyone! But hey, who wouldn’t line up to dance with a man who can dance like that?

Related Stories:
DWTS Biggest Necklace Competition
Suzanne Crowned Dancing Queen
Brendan Cole: Suzanne not my #1
Brendan Cole and Candy Lane Jive
DWTS Aftermath

Pop's Ultimate Star Plummets

According to our recent poll just 3.5% of viewers enjoyed the first episode Pop's Ultimate Star. 78% of viewers hated the show, and the rest reckoned they couldn't muster up enough interest to watch it.

Already, producers Touchdown and TVNZ are acting swiftly to fix the rot that set in during the first episode aired last Sunday. After problems with sound quality, and venue issues after a fire in the original venue, the St James Theatre, the show has been shifted to Wellington's Avalon studio.

Joe Cotton

However, the sound quality was only the beginning of complaints from viewers, who echoed our concerns about the lacklustre judging panel who fell over each other to praise some very average performances from the ten contestants, the generally inadequate standard of the singing, and confusion over the format of the show.

Compared with Maori Television's new karaoke show Homai Te Pakipaki, it was hard to see how the Pop's Ultimate Star contestants could possibly be deserving of the $50,000 grand prize.

Admittedly, last week's Elvis impersonator was pretty dodgy, but most of the Homai Te Pakipaki contestants belted out a good tune and the hosts of the show kept us entertained in a stereotypical Billy T James fashion. Despite these shortcomings the show ended up being more entertaining than all the so-called professionals on Sunday night. I couldn't help wondering why Paul Holmes wasn't invited to carouse with the youngsters. After all, his self-titled album, Paul Holmes, sold 22,000 copies, and more importantly imagine the ratings!

This week the Pop's Ultimate Star hots up with two contestants up for elimination at the end of the night. We understand that there will be some duets and other group singing in Sunday night's show. Unfortunately, TVNZ plan to drag out the suspense, with a sing-off elimination planned for Wednesday evening, when the judges get to decide who stays and who goes.

More on Paul Holmes:
You can listen to a podcast from The Edge which includes an interviews with Paul Holmes. The podcast starts with an interview with Topher Grace and you can find the Paul Holmes interview about Dancing with the Stars and his singing debut at about 16 minutes.

Free Stuff:
You can get your free tickets to the Wellington show by emailing tickets@touchdowntv.com
There is also a weekly competition to win an ipod Nano

Related Stories:
Singers wanted for live karaoke show
Pop’s Ultimate Yawn
Celebrity Recycling on Pop's Ultimate Star
Pop's Ultimate Star venue shift

Images: TVNZ

Miss Prozac demands royalties

Well. It seems Dancing With The Stars host Jason Gunn has been stealing our material. He introduced studly Brendon Pongia as Brendon The Body. Hello! That's our term. How much should we ask in royalties? Miss Prozac is hurrying to the patent office to trademark all our intellectual property.

We're just hanging out for Jason to call Paul Holmes 'The Gnome'

Of course, an invitation for all our staff to attend the finals and pre-dance cocktails in lieu of royalties wouldn't be sneered at...

Holmes confirms horizontal tango

In his Herald on Sunday column, Paul Holmes commented on the public’s constant speculation about couples taking their dance floor magic into the bedroom.

There is no doubt some who have taken part have found themselves engaged horizontally with their dance partners, such is the power of what Candy Lane, with her ruthless exacting wit, calls ‘the dancing fanny’

However spoilsport that he is he refuses to name names, which leaves Miss Prozac with the task of analysing each of the couples. Oh how she hates to gossip. We have also heard rumours that some of the judges, namely Bad Boy Brendan Cole, have been engaging in a bit of extra dance tuition. There is also gossip that two of the professional dancers are exchanging bodily fluids.

Brendan Cole
We reported earlier that Brendan Cole has been seen dirty dancing with April Ieremia. Of course, that’s hardly news. Brendan has been seen dancing with nearly all the celebrity gals in the show as well as those from Sh